Two degens = major lunacy (part 3)

Saturday morning… my last day in Vegas and I have no doubt that today cannot possibly be as bad as the past two days. Luck just doesn’t play that way. They tease you enough to make you wanna come back… at this point, only uber degens (read: Bayne and me) would keep hitting the tables with as much enthusiasm.

I decide I am in the mood for some asian food but am fully aware that they don’t open until 11am. It’s a little before then but I decide I’ll head to the Bellagio anyways where they have the noodle bar. My thought was that at least they should serve a more decent “free” bloody mary’s at the table than the other casinos. My real thought though is that I needed to log in some time at the MGM properties… so far, it’s been all harrah’s properties except the nonaffiliated casino royale. So, I get to the craps table at the Bellagio where I get my bloody mary fix to get me started for the day. Bayne joins me there after apparently, a session at Harrah’s already (again, degen) and we play to kill time until the noodle bar opens.

Now the craps gods must have been smiling down on me because I just happen to be at the only craps table that Bellagio has with “feature bets” which is essentially a bet you can make to see if the roll would hit all low numbers or all high numbers or all numbers before rolling a 7. Bayne and I are instantly hooked on this obvious sucker bet (we also love the fire bets at Harrah’s properties). This is a bet where it’s easy to get close but inevitably, the chances of getting the 12 or a 2 to complete the all high/low are not good. Without thinking much about it, I go to my one of many bathroom runs and come back to see that the feature bet section is covered with markers except for a 9!!! That’s like one of the easiest ways to complete!!! And BAYNE HAS FIVE DOLLARS (typically, we only had $1 on it) on the feature bet. I am sweating this hard as I know I will not hear the end of it if he wins this and I don’t. But again, the craps gods smiling down on me got the shooter a 7 and I, maybe for the first time ever in my craps life, celebrated inside for the 7.

A while later, Bayne goes to the bathroom or the ATM machine… he comes back to see that the all high section of the feature bets are covered. And me bragging in his face about how I won. Best part of the trip ever… at least up until that point. This Saturday turns out to be some kind of magical but at this point, neither one of us would have known this. Few turns later, Bayne chooses to “close the leak” by not betting on the feature bets… of course, this back fires as I hit the second feature bet of the day. Totally stoked, slightly drunk, and definitely hungry, we decide to hit the noodle bar where we crush our food. Eager for redemption, we hand our waitress the two cards face down and again, ask her to pick a card. Bitch picks my card so again, I lose…

Credit card roulette: Bayne 2 – 0 Me

Feature bets: Bayne 0 – 2 Me

Since my friends (the ones I have yet to see) are staying at Planet Hollywood, we decide we’ll try the casino there and let them know. With any luck, they might come downstairs and I might get to see my friends. Of course, it turns out they were at the Venetian by then but this is completely insignificant for what’s about to happen. What happened, you ask? Mitchell. That’s what happens.

We’re once again getting crushed at Planet Hollywood and it’s as if this trip is just not meant to be. Some kid named Mitchell informs us that it’s his first time at a craps table and he threw like he’s never done it before. It was a bit discouraging and the two guys standing next to me are talking about how this is the worst table ever (they obviously weren’t at the ass raping massacre that was the Thursday night IP craps table). Then this indian kid pops in, tries to get the table going with his attitude, and then next thing we know, he’s actually throwing decent and the luck is starting to turn. My turn, and I, too, have a decent roll and you could tell the tide is turning. The two losers next to me had an insignificant roll so the “tide turning” is dicey (no pun intended) and it goes back to Mitchell. Mitchell is one before Bayne so my thought is, Mitchell, just don’t do terrible and keep the luck on the verge of getting there and Bayne will start hitting. Well, Mitchell and the craps gods apparently had other ideas. Mitchell starts hitting numbers left and right but more significantly, he starts hitting 10’s like it’s his business. I start with $10 on the 10 which then gets pressed to $25 once he hits it once. Then I collect, then press to $50 when he hits again. He hits again at which point I go to $100 on the 10. He hits… all told he keeps hitting until my bet on 10 is $300 (and I’m not pressing full so I’m collecting black chips every time he hits). Table (especially me and Bayne who were the only two going heavy on 10) was going nuts… the guys next to Bayne were stoked for him while the two downers next to me were calling me a genius (like I have anything to do with the fact that Mitchell is a dice god). Both Bayne and I cash out for 2 yellow chips and a bunch more chips… of course, we can’t figure out whether we are still down or not (well, I knew I was down, question was, how down) which what other degens would be having this conversation with close to $3k in chips in hand???

By this time, it’s almost 5 and apparently, there were some of our mutual friends who were also gonna be in town and they were supposed to meet at 6 at the IP. So we decide to head to the IP and once we get there, of course, we hit the craps table. At the table, I find out that during my “blacked out” period Thursday (or as I like to refer to the ass raping massacre), I proposed to one of the dealers. I believe the line was “you were so drunk on Thursday – do you remember proposing to me?” Bayne and I obviously get a kick out of this. I am pretty drunk obviously so I am in need of shots but was tired of doing shots of jack… so I ask if we can do Patron until the cocktail waitress informs us that that is only for diamond or platinum members… you see, I’m just a gold member which is what everyone starts off… to make matters worse, Bayne is a diamond member. However, this humiliation is lost on the fact that he can order shots of Patron for us so I’m actually happy that I can piggy back on his degeneracy (of course, secretly, it fuels the fire that already burns within me to at least get to platinum which requires more gambling).

We are starving so we go back to the Hash House where I finally win the credit card roulette… of course, the one I win happens to be half the price of either of the two others that I lost but we don’t keep track monetarily (well, I didn’t, at least) so a win is a win.

Credit card roulette: Bayne 2 – 1 Me

Feature bets: Bayne 0 – 2 Me

We then head to Cosmopolitan where I sit out of the $25 min craps table session. Instead, I just go ahead and head to Aria where bayne joins me in a little while and the craps session ends up being a decent one. Saturday was probably by far the biggest win day in terms of craps cash out but still down for the trip. At least it was damage control. After 14hrs of craps, I’m beat and since I have a 7am flight on Sunday, we decide to call it a night around 1am.

Oh Vegas, I miss you already.


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